Dave Arnold Southern California to Oregon

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I entered a long distance relationship with him. He said he was in the process of divorce, but actually he was getting his next victim (me) lined up before he dumped her. He hates to sleep alone. I suspected this later, but stayed with him after relocating from Southern California to Oregon. During our 14 years together he lied repeatedly about everything. We worked together; he turned our co-workers against me. He didn’t keep one single promise he made. Others told me that he was cheating but I didn’t believe them. In 2011 he asked me to move out; I did. Within a week he wanted to renew our relationship. He continued to use me for the next 2 1/2 years, telling me he had not been with anyone else, and still loved me. Probably what he told his first wife too. He lied. Pretty sure now that he just enjoyed the extra sex, and the fact that he didn’t have to pay me my share or sell our home. After we agreed in November 2013 that I would move back home in January 2014, he DUMPED me after I invited him over on Christmas Eve. Took him to a movie, cooked his favorite dinner, and gave him Christmas gifts. Then he said he had indeed been in a relationship with another woman for the past year, and he was in love with her. In January he took HER to Hawaii, after he had promised that trip to ME before I ever moved in with him. Also, before I moved in with him, I gave him over $9000 to pay his first wife’s share of equity in their home. I helped him pay $6000 worth of her credit card bills as well as spousal and child support. I helped him make payments on that home for 14 years. He refinanced in 2009 without my knowledge. What spouse DOES that? He never ONCE helped me financially and I was driven to bankruptcy. It was Chapter 13 because Chapter 7 (which would have immediately dismissed all of my debts) would have affected him in a negative way; he would have had to pay me $50,000 or put the house up for sale. I asked him to PLEASE not file for divorce until my bankruptcy payments were finished, but he refused. I spent about $7000 on that bankruptcy but had to dismiss it halfway through because Chapter 13 and divorce at the same time would have complicated everything and cost me thousands more in attorney fees. He was able to lie to his attorney and the local small town judge, and I was advised to settle for a much lower amount than I really deserve. He is a narcissist; as long as you are inflating his ego and he hasn’t found anyone else to sleep with, he will keep you around. He will use you for all you are worth and then, when he “done with you” – his words, he will discard you like a bag of trash. Others have pointed out that he is a”charmer”. He is attractive and friendly, and he will put you on a pedestal, at first. But watch out….you will be SO sorry if you believe him! And if you do decide to get into a relationship with this creep, make sure you CYA. He will eventually get bored with you and trade up to someone younger or prettier or most likely someone with more money! Classic narcissist.

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